Loving yourself means taking care of yourself! It’s true!
When you love someone, you want what’s best for them. You want them to be happy. You want to see them thrive, find success, and live their best lives. When they don’t live up to their potential or the foundation on which they stand falls apart, we are quick to provide encouragement and a shoulder to lean on. We become determined—despite potential detriments to our own well-being—to assist in putting their broken pieces back together, to bring out the best in them. We’re always ready to give thoughtful advice and act according to their needs.
In short, we are willing to help those we love the best we can.
So why is it that so many of us don’t treat ourselves as we treat those we care about? Why is it that the expectations we set for loved ones are often higher than they are for ourselves? Why don’t we hold ourselves to the same level of accountability?
We need to!
We Should Apply the Same Standards We Expect of Others to Ourselves
The acceptance rhetoric we hear makes it sound like there’s no need for self improvement—we are all perfect as we are. I don’t like that. I don’t like that one bit (unless it’s something beyond our control).
To me, it’s a way of saying we’re done growing, we’re done trying to change for the better, and we’ve given up on pursuing the best version of ourselves. Far too many of us would rather stay stagnant and comfortable with the way we are because that’s easier than looking into the depths of our being and assessing our flaws. It’s a hell of a lot easier than confronting the demons dwelling within us. Whether we’re aware of them or not, they’re the ones calling the shots and sucking the joy from our spirits.
Unfortunately, we tend to do a bunch of mental gymnastics to justify their presence. It is in our conditioning to rationalize behavior, health, lack of success with a billion different excuses then blame our stagnation on external sources. But we need to gather the courage to be honest with ourselves as we would a loved one with a problem. It is the only way to have a fighting chance against those demons that keep us running in circles of subconscious damnation.
What Loving Yourself Really Means
Loving yourself means acknowledging your weaknesses, not accepting them. It means doing what’s necessary to take care of your mind and your body. They are both connected. Neglecting one means harming the other.
Loving yourself is not allowing the demon of laziness and excuses to have control over you. The voices telling you to put something off (or calling you a failure before you even begin) are often louder than the one trying to motivate you. Listen to the quieter one!
Loving yourself means understanding perfection doesn’t exist, but creating and maintaining realistic expectations.
Loving yourself is accepting the circumstances you cannot control, but not allowing those circumstances to control you. Self love is to not allow the demon of victim-hood convince you you’re powerless, to validate your feeling of helplessness and tell you don’t have any say in your fate. You have more control than you think!
Loving yourself means accepting the mistakes of your past, but not letting them stop you from moving forward. It’s never too late for improvement.
How to Love Yourself Better
Firstly, stop lying to yourself. Be honest in your self-evaluation, no matter how painful it is to face (tough love is the best love). When a family member needs to hear a hard truth, you tell them, right (you should!)? It is better to be stung by the truth now than it is to face a lie’s repercussions in the future.
You will love yourself more later on if you’re able to stand up to your demons now. You will be grateful to have given yourself the courtesy of honesty which allowed you to take the necessary steps to carve a better path forward.
Secondly, stop buying into the delusional rationalizations your ego (demons) conjures to preserve your pride and protect you from thought discomfort. Retrain your brain and tell it that the way it thinks is not acceptable. Explain how you are unhappy with the results of your conditioning and express your determination to rewire the mechanisms keeping you practicing self-destructive behavior, such as sloth.
Listen to the tiny voice! Not the loudest ones.
Lastly, when your demons tell you to stay on the couch, put a task off until tomorrow, or tries to convince you nothing needs to change, tell them to go fuck themselves! Do what you know you need to do anyway!
None of us want our loved ones to settle. We don’t want our family members to fail or give up, so why should you? Love yourself, not by accepting yourself, but by improving yourself!
Before you go!
What do you think loving yourself really means? Should you tell yourself lies, make excuses, and blame the world? Or should you take responsibility for your circumstances upon yourself? Let me know what you think in the Comments section below!
Also, if you enjoyed what I said here you may enjoy my book! Check out the links below for more information!
My Book, Through the Devil’s Eyes, is Now Available at Barnes & Noble!
Synopsis: God vs. Devil, Good vs. Evil—Who Will Win the Battle for the Souls of Mankind?
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You’ve Heard God’s Side of the Story. Time to Hear Mine!